Oh dear.

Okay, so this is hilarious.

I’m very spiritual, and I love using my oracle decks for guidance. One deck I have is all about healing, and it can be used for any kind of healing in a broad sense. Trauma, illness, stress, grief, etc. It’s called The Healing Spirits Oracle, and I’ve included an Amazon link. I highly recommend this deck, and I give it five stars. High quality, great images, good advice!! It’s a gorgeous deck.

So, earlier today, I decided to draw some cards for sexual healing to see what advice the oracle had for me.

First I drew card #23: You came to serve. 

Heck, yeah!

But I felt the need for some clarification, so I then drew card #22: Always in motion!

Yeah, that… sounds about right.

Feeling the need for more guidance, I drew card #2: Endurance is the key to success. 

Well, I can’t argue with that!

But I still needed more info, so I drew card #7: Send out help to others!

Oh my. Okay, my siren song has been sung. (Save yourselves! Buy some earplugs!)

And then, heaven help us all, I drew card #29: Your path may be bumpy, but this will alter soon. 

Oh my goodness. I can’t even. It’s like fortune cookies gone bad.

And I thought, This is great advice, but I’m still confused. I must learn more! So I drew card #32: When it feels right, do it! 

[Nods in vigorous approval of card #32.] Huge thumbs-up!

But I still felt uncertain, so I drew card #48: Go within. 

[Shaking my head at this naughty oracle deck.]

Then, feeling the need for more clarification, I drew card #4: Share the gift.

Gracious saints!

And then, for the love of all that is holy, I drew card #17: Your spirit guide can lead you but cannot do it for you. 

I’m glad to hear that, because that would be way too kinky, even for me! 😮 I’d really like to limit the number of people… and spirits!!… in the bedroom.

And then I drew this gem, also known as card #37: To overcome, you first have to climb. 

Oh dear.

Now, at that point, my brain was fried. But I wanted to end on a positive note, so I drew card #42: Universal love is true love, so love all! 

Deep breath. Maybe sexual healing is overrated. [Facepalm.]